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Daily Jokes 7/25/11
Daily Jokes 7/25/11
Posted 212 days ago

Stocks set to drop
U.S. stocks were set to drop Monday, after Congress failed to find common ground on a deal to raise the debt ceiling over the weekend.  If common ground cannot be found, Congress says they will battle it out head to head on the next Maury Povich show..."I know you aint talk'n bout how I plans to raise the debt ceilings, umm hmmm!"
US gets new Afghan ambassador
Veteran diplomat Ryan Crocker was formally sworn in as the new United States ambassador to Afghanistan on Monday.  It was definitely formal because he wore a turbin, danced on a magic carpet, and…

Daily Jokes 7/14/11
Daily Jokes 7/14/11
Posted 223 days ago

Jared Loughner school records released
The alleged Tucson shooter repeatedly accused his college of "scamming" him and claiming his freedom of speech was being stolen.  His freedom of speech has not been stolen. He's going to have every chance in prison to be as free as he wants to say "Another rape? We just did it!", or "Put it in me slowly Big Black".

Daily Jokes 7/13/11
Daily Jokes 7/13/11
Posted 225 days ago

Police: Woman jailed after cutting off husband's penis

A Southern California woman was in jail after allegedly drugging her husband, cutting off his penis, throwing it into the garbage disposal. Authorities are upset, not because she severed the penis, but because she put it in the garbage disposal. We all know a good penis is not thrown away, you should always recycle.

Rodney King arrested

on suspicion of driving under the influence...not of alcohol, but of stupidity.

Daily Jokes 7/12/11
Daily Jokes 7/12/11
Posted 226 days ago

Fan who caught Jeter ball could owe big taxes
Christian Lopez will have to pay as much as $14,000 in taxes because the Yankees rewarded him with suite seats that are worth $120,000. Lopez says that instead of paying the $14,000 to the IRS, he might use that to buy the Mets.Last spacewalk of shuttle era
Astronauts conduct last spacewalk
Two NASA flight engineers who have been aboard the International Space Station plan to conduct the last spacewalk of the space shuttle era Tuesday. In all future missions the spacewalk will be replaced by the moonwalk. Astronauts will begin learning the technique immediately.  .
Deadliest…

Daily Jokes 7/11/11
Daily Jokes 7/11/11
Posted 227 days ago

New Mexico braces for weeks of flash floods
If the still raging fires didn’t destroy their homes, now residents have to face flash floods this monsoon season. How can things get worse for New Mexico...Charlie Sheen coming to town? 
LinkedIn passes MySpace as no. 2 social network.
3rd place is Friendster, and 4th place goes to those 2 old men you saw talking by the bus stop earlier today.
Traveler flies high with 10 million miles
Over the weekend, Tom Stuker became the first to reach the 10 million mile mark in United's Mileage Plus program. To achieve the record he bypassed a falcon who had…

Daily Jokes 7/9/11
Daily Jokes 7/9/11
Posted 229 days ago

Official: Casey Anthony denies mom's attempt to visit her in jail

but says she can visit any of the convicted killers in the prison instead if she wants a similar experience

South Sudan becomes worlds newest country.

Before they even raised their new flag- 37 Starbucks had opened up

NFL star Hines Ward was arrested for DUI

Says it's a calculated move - he's just preparing for public office when he retires

Daily Jokes 7/7/11
Daily Jokes 7/7/11
Posted 230 days ago

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Daily Jokes 7/6/11
Daily Jokes 7/6/11
Posted 232 days ago

Romney raises $18.25M; Gingrich in debt
GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has raised $18.25 million, Newt has raised only $2 million and is in debt, and Anthony Weiner raises the inside of Dockers khakis. HELLO! This thing on!? What's going on out there? Man, it's crazy out there....rough crowd. ahhhhh it's crazy. What else?
Report: Atlanta superintendent knew about cheating
Former Atlanta schools Superintendent Beverly Hall knew about cheating allegations on standardized tests but either ignored them or tried to hide them. Georgia was under a lot of pressure to raise test scores. They said there is no way they are going to let Alabama, Mississippi,…

Daily Jokes 7/5/11
Daily Jokes 7/5/11
Posted 232 days ago

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Daily Jokes 7/4/11
Daily Jokes 7/4/11
Posted 233 days ago

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  • Daily Jokes 7/14/11

    Posted by on July 14, 2011

    Everyday I post monologue jokes from relevant daily news articles. Here are the jokes for today (always appreciate your feedback):

    Jared Loughner school records released

    The alleged Tucson shooter repeatedly accused his college of “scamming” him and claiming his freedom of speech was being stolen.  His freedom of speech has not been stolen. He’s going to have every chance in prison to be as free as he wants to say “Another rape? We just did it!”, or “Put it in me slowly Big Black”.

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