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Daily Jokes 7/25/11
Everyday I post monologue jokes from relevant daily news articles. Here are the jokes for today (always appreciate your feedback):
Stocks set to drop
U.S. stocks were set to drop Monday, after Congress failed to find common ground on a deal to raise the debt ceiling over the weekend. If common ground cannot be found, Congress says they will battle it out head to head on the next Maury Povich show…”I know you aint talk’n bout how I plans to raise the debt ceilings, umm hmmm!”
US gets new Afghan ambassador
Veteran diplomat Ryan Crocker was formally sworn in as the new United States ambassador to Afghanistan on Monday. It was definitely formal because he wore a turbin, danced on a magic carpet, and the ceremony was conducted by a king cobra.
China outraged at train crash response
Nationwide outrage continued in China over the government’s response to a deadly bullet train collision last weekend. The country is enraged at the slow response, but honestly the slow response is mostly due to Chinese officials getting lost while trying to find the crash site.
Obama cancels event to focus on debt
Barack Obama has canceled two fundraising appearances to resolve the nation’s debt-ceiling crisis hit a new stalemate.
